Feeling less than productive

Today I wasted away, doing pretty much nothing. I reread The Hunger Games. Obviously, the first time was better. I watched UP online (not as impressive as the hype generated), as well as The September Issue (I loved it, of course. It makes me absolutely want to pursue a career in design/journalism). Made some hot chocolate, ate 1 1/2 chocolate chip cookies, which were actually good for once due to the brown sugar Veronica sent from home. Sadly, they're all gone now, so it's back to hard biscotti. Ah, well.
I should have emailed some people, done my laundry, studied Italian, gone out with Martina and Company. Instead I did none of the above, and nothing constructive, either. I must be such a terrible disappointment to my host family. I'm not the most hygienic (Much to my humiliation and dismay, although I shower more than anyone here!), my language and cooking capabilities are low, and I have showed very little enthusiasm (or gratitude, for that matter) as of late. It's awful, really, this lethargy that's taken over me. I mean, I've always been somewhat lazy, but nothing like this. And it's such a stark contrast to the world of The September Issue, a world in which I'd be in a flurry of constant motion, creating, designing, and editing pages. That is when I think I'd feel most alive. It's certainly how I felt when I was commanding the newspaper's back room at home, even if I never officially had the title of Editor in Chief. It was exciting and invigorating. Compare that to here, and I'm wasting away. Which is sad, because I'm doing something I dreamt about for years.

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