Girls are constantly flipping through my diary as though it's a Teen Vogue magazine, to peruse at their leisure. It's incredibly irritating, and if their English was a fraction better, I would instantly take it away. As it is, however, they understand far too little for it to be of consequence. Still, I watch anxiously until it is returned to me each time this occurs, and feel a sense of exposure at the invasion.
I was interrogated today (for the upmost time!) about whom I like. Unwilling to be truthful, I tried to say "Nessuno" or "No one," but the girls would not relent, so I fictionalized a nineteen year old boy who has already graduated from school ("No, non lo so dove"). Not really the type I would go for, actually (I like the academic types), but it seemed the easiest out. I hate lying to frivolous, shallow girls, pretending to meditate on as much utter crap as they do. I mean, honestly, how much time do they spend thinking about boys and their crushes? Versus how much time I spend (practically none) even when I do like someone. It's ridiculous really. And it annoys me that I feel obligated to humor them, or even to impress them. I hate that I give in so easily to such social insecurities and innate desires. I wish I was stronger on that front, more ready to say "Shut up" and "Fuck off" instead of giving into the pressure to leave a good impression.